Wow!!

Considering this was a Christmas which we faced with some sadness and sorrow it turned out to be a truly memorable day. The amount of support we received was just overwhelming. To know that people care so much is very comforting. People that had already given to our cause came back and gave again. What a wonderful Christmas.

When does it get easier?

Just when you feel you're making progress they go and move the finish line.

We just received an explanation of benefits for Aiden's Life Flight Ambulance and it appears that of the $5,895 charged the insurance company is only going to pay $69.83.

Thanksgiving

We've been busy the past couple of weeks. With the combination of work, IVF research, fund raising and the holidays I guess it's understandable.

Thanksgiving turned out to be a wonderful day. We knew we didn't want to have dinner at home and be staring at an empty seat. We had always talked about helping out somewhere on Thanksgiving. Though it was always just talk. This year we decided to do something about it. We asked our Pastor if he had any suggestions on where we could help. He came up with the idea of hosting a Thanksgiving dinner at the church. We ended up with nearly 20 guests and probably an equal number of helpers. It was a great time. It would have been greater if Aiden were there.

Making progress

It is encouraging how we are making progress towards our goal. At first the thought of raising $30,000 was extremely daunting. We started out slowly with money we received in sympathy cards from people immediately after Aiden's death. We had $125 before we even knew what to do with it. In mid October when we decided to go forward with IVF, Kathy was able to add $300 to the fund and I sold a set of wheels for $1,600. So we had just over $2,000 when we decided to seek help from others. Immediately we received $420 in donations and I sold a couple of items on eBay which brought the account balance to $2,545. November began with a bang. I sold my car and a couple of parts which added $10,100 to the cause. Donations for November has been great at $2,200 which bring us to the current total of $14,845, just about the half was point.

What once appeared a daunting task is now within reach thanks to the support of friends, family and well wishers alike. Thank you.

$30,000? How can that be?

$30,000? How could the tragic loss of a baby boy result in a family needing $30,000. It didn't make sense to me. We have health insurance, surely that would pay for things. $30,000, that's a great deal of money. We couldn't possible need that much money. That number kept going through my mind. When I looked at the individual pieces I realized the figure was true. There are basically three pieces to that number. Aiden's medical expenses, his funeral expenses and the cost of IVF (in vitro fertilization).

Since we have medical insurance, Aiden's bills are "only" $5,200. That's right $5,200 with medical insurance. How could that be so, we have insurance. Well there is the $1,000 deductible and and it is an 80/20 plan. "Luckily" the 20% copay is capped at $3,000. So now we're at $4,000. Insurance companies pay what is common and acceptable according to their rate schedule. Any amount in excess of common and acceptable becomes our responsibility, so that added another $1,224. Total Aiden medical bills...$5,224

Funeral expense. Talking about your 11 month old son and funeral expenses in the same sentence is just wrong. Here again the expenses were less than they could have been. The church and the funeral home provided their services for free. However, it seems there is always other expenses. We had the newspaper announcements, burial plot, infant urn and bronze grave marker. Add it up...$2,978.

Now we get to the big bucks. IVF. After Aiden's birth we figured we were all set as a family of four so Kathy had a tubaligation. Since this was a voluntary procedure we are not eligible for infertility benefits which would have covered IVF expenses. The initial IVF procedure is $13,000 plus the require fertility drugs which we're told will be between $3,000-$5,000 depending on how Kathy responds to the drugs. So call it $4,000. Then more than likely a 2nd cycle will be require which will add another $5,000. IVF budget...$22,000

Add it all up and you come to $30,202. Daunting but we'll make. We have lots of great people supporting us

Welcome to Our Blog

So as many of you know we created AidenOurAngel.com several weeks ago. It is a website that is used to inform people of our situation and as a means to raise funds for Aiden's medical and burial expenses and also for our attempt of in vitro fertilization. This blog is intended to be a way to provide real time updates as well as to allow others to add their comments and feedback.

Thank You

We would like to thank the following folks for their generosity:

Paula & Greg
Marcela & Craig
Lara
Ed & Dayna
Nancy
Lisa
Sarah & Skip
Chip & Rene
Chris & Ellen
Victor & Ilidia
Keith & Rebeka
Vinnie & Cathy
Wayne & Noelle
Annie
Friends of Annie's
Steph & Dave
Marianne & Chris
John & Doris
Doug & Cynthia
Megan
Maureen & Lee
Bill & Rosemary
Ted & Sue
Jeff & Jen
Maria & Armie
Monique & Joe
Carol & David
Kay
Rose
Daryl
Vinnie & Cathy
Ann & Bob
Dick & Brenda
Sheila & John
Paul & Charlene
Patti & Joe
Sheila & Warren
Noelle & Wayne
Nelson
Marge & Dennis
Trish

How You Can Help

We have been touched by the outpouring of love and support from so many people since Aiden’s death. We’re now hoping that others will hear about our loss and our dreams for the future and help make those dreams come true.

We’ve established an account to cover these medical expenses at the Meredith Village Savings Bank in Gilford, NH

Checks made payable to Kathleen Arenstam, Medical Account can be sent to:

Meredith Village Savings Bank
1383 Lakeshore Road
Gilford, NH 03249

Alternatively, you can use the link on the below to donate via PayPal.

Our Story

Before August 5, 2006, we were a normal happy family; a Mom, a Dad and two beautiful boys. We didn't realize it at that time, but we had everything we wanted in life; a loving marriage, two healthy boys, a beautiful house, and jobs that allowed us to pursue our professional dreams while balancing the needs of our family. Like most parents we had many dreams for our kids. We were looking forward to watching our two boys grow. It's amazing now to think how quickly our lives would be turned upside down.

We were visiting friends and having a wonderful time. Aiden was swimming with Mommy and enjoying himself. Later he had some grapes and crackers. As the day wound down, Aiden let us know that it was time for bed. We put him to sleep in the bedroom around 8 PM. Just before 10 PM, we gathered our things to head home for the night. When we entered the bedroom, we found Aiden cold and lifeless. We called 911, performed CPR and waited for help. The EMTs worked frantically to save our little boy. They were able to restart his heart but he was unresponsive. He was airlifted to a major hospital where he was placed on life support. Despite everyone’s best efforts, Aiden passed away on August 7, 2006.

Our hearts were broken and our world was shattered.

One of the things we are truly grateful for is Nicholas. He has given us hope, purpose and the strength to wake up each day. However we’ve always thought of Nick as one of our children, not as our only child. Nick was a great big brother and he misses having a sibling.

After careful thought, we have decided to pursue the possibility of adding another member to our family. We know another child will not change the fact that Aiden has died. We will live with that loss for every remaining day of our lives. But I think it would give us all something positive to look forward to. It would make our family whole again. To make Nick the big brother he was meant to be.

After Aiden was born, Kathy had a tubal ligation. (We were very happy to be a family of four.) As a result of this voluntary action, no insurance carrier will cover us for the fertility treatments that will be necessary. In addition, our insurance company will not allow us to add maternity coverage to our existing policy until the open enrollment period next year. We are therefore going to have to pay for the IVF treatment and maternity expenses ourselves. We are expecting those cost to exceed $30,000.

We are now trying to raise the necessary funds and we hope you can help. If everyone who reads this would pledge $5 or $10 it would help with ease some of the stress, anguish, frustration and heart ache that we as a family have been experiencing since the loss of Aiden.

We are doing all we can to raise the funds necessary. Brian has sold his car, many items are being sold on eBay and financial frugality is the norm. Even with these actions we still need help from others. There is no denying that this family has suffered greatly and now needs the help of friends and strangers alike.

See How You Can Help.

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